Autumn

Whilst working on an article about Congaree National Park earlier today, I couldn’t help but get a little overwhelmed by the coming of autumn.  As our half of the Earth continues its gentle tilt away from the sun, I catch myself filled with a sense of optimism about days to come.

There are a few good reasons, of course.  First, it’s cooler, which is great.  I spend a lot of time in the summer purposefully overexerting myself out in the heat, in an attempt to show off exactly how tolerant I am of the heat and humidity.  As a matter of fact, I’d like that on my tombstone after I eventually collapse and die while attempting to display that fortitude.  “William Mancke, too young to die, too overly confident of his ability to overcome the summer heat while carrying a bear cub on his back to live.” Anyway, I lot my train of thought there so let’s agree that cool weather is awesome weather.

Second, I like the fact that we get a new bunch of animals hanging around.  Not that there’s anything wrong with the usual summer creatures but I like new ones on occasion, especially birds.  I get really, really, really, really excited to see different birds show up.  Other than starlings.  I hate them.

Third, autumn brings with it the best holidays in the whole dang calendar.  Halloween, anyone?  And how about Thanksgiving?  The very best holidays are the ones when you don’t really have to do anything or give any gifts or go anywhere.  Every Thanksgiving, I give thanks for Thanksgiving.  Also, United Nations Day is in there which I don’t think anyone really celebrates, though I do, largely because it falls on my birthday and I like to feel important.  There used to be a lot of trouble in the world but now that we have the United Nations, that’s pretty much fallen to the wayside.

The fair also comes to town in autumn.  As a matter of fact, a lot of outdoor stuff starts up around here, largely because it is finally cool outside.  I, of course, as I mentioned above, adore the heat (or pretend to adore the heat though honestly, I don’t know anymore if its an act or for real, much like my love for Foreigner). 

Jeez.  Okay, well, back on track.  The South Carolina State Fair is the best.  They have all sorts of ridiculous food and there are TONS of weirdos wandering around that place.  Then, when you get those weirdos involved in eating the food it just goes crazy.  Also, there are rides, which I don’t ride anymore, largely because I am terrified of them.  You can get some free milk occasionally but people seriously, deeply, honestly LOVE free milk so you gotta get there early.  Also - pig races and, occasionally, an elephant tied to a post which seems to be crying constantly. 

Other things also happen in the fall.  There’s football, which I sometimes get interested in.  TV starts back for a couple of weeks until baseball erases the memory of what happened in those first few episodes.  I just don’t care for baseball anymore. 

There are generally elections going on, which is exciting, mostly for the people getting elected.  And oysters come back into season which also doesn’t really affect me because I only eat oysters deep fried.   

And that, my friends, is the rest of the story.

Good day.